12/17/2016 11:41:00 AM
Problem; it's an inevitability.

Everyone in this goddamn world has a problem.
It's a fact that we all knew well by heart but sometimes we tend to forget when it happened to us. It produced the very familiar question regarding "Why it happened to me?"

Why this horrible mixed feeling of anxiety or sadness or angry is happening to us is actually an orthodox question we asked ourselves when we first noticed the problem. The problem shakes us deeply until we don't know what to do and then come all those mixed feelings afterwards. All we can do is to accept those feeling. What we're feeling is real. Even if it doesn't reflect to our facial feature or our gesture, it doesn't make the feeling less real.

"But there are people out there whose problems are way bigger than you." they said or you said to yourself. Still, it doesn't make the feeling less real. There are people whose problems are more complicated than us is a fact too. Humans are diverse, so is the problem. However, for us, this problem that just happened to us is the thing that makes our life harsher now. And that is the thing that create the empathy within us to other people with their own problems.

There are things that we should remember, at this moment we're still alive and life still happens. The condition that we are in right now with the problems, et cetera, is not going to stick through. The feeling that comes by with it is going to change. One day you'll see the problem from the different angle than the first time you heard about it. "It doesn't make any sense, I'm still sad and angry." said your deepest heart. Be patient. It takes time and effort to overcome our problems. The effort may varied due to our variety of problems too. As long as it isn't just a 'quick' escape from the problem and will just harm your health and mind. We can ask for suggestion from friends or family, even just ourselves. Then we know there are always something we can learn from everything that has happened to us, even the horrible problem ones. When we learn from the problem with delicate then we could make the possibility of it isn't going to happen in the future again. It also would make us a stronger and better person than the one we know before. And if you still believe in God, remember, God would never give us the ordeal that we could not go through.

For whoever you are out there, this is just a warm reminder, if you're feeling like life could not stop throwing rocks at you until you fell and stranded below the wheel, just remember there will be a time when you're up at the top of the wheel again. Because the wheel is always spinning. It's not a naive thought because it seemed to you that the wheel doesn't spin an inch. Perhaps, you're just slouching on the couch contemplating all night why the wheel doesn't spin. You simply have to believe and do something about it to spin the wheel. I've been there and I've also seen people go through it.

Alas, like my best friend once told me, when you're feeling sad remember that this shall pass and there will be time when you feel happiness again. When you finally feel that happiness, you'll remember sadness not as what it was, but for the reason behind your knowing of what it feels like to be happy.


Dream Role

12/12/2016 12:00:00 AM
A couple of new things has happened this month. Mostly about posing like other people for entertainment purposes, a.k.a. acting. Acting in a dramatic short film made by my broadcasting senior and singing, dancing and acting in a musical number. I joined a workshop held by one of musical theatre communities in Jakarta that you can see the result here.

Performing arts has been on my interest since the first time I was able to sing "Do Re Mi" from The Sound of Music. Remember how I used to beg my mother to put the VCD back on track when I was little because I long to rewatch the musical again and again (I once wrote my love for musicals in 'I'm Addicted' series posts). When I tried acting for the first time and turned out it's enjoyable, somehow I always knew this is something that I want to put my mind and effort to it.

Speaking of acting, there must be roles that we must play. You mustn't relate to the role, but it helps for a beginner like me if I can relate to it. However, in the future I want to play a character that out of my comfort zone or my personality to challenge my skill, it's in the long run. I want to share my six dream roles that I dreamed to play someday (couldn't put it all because this would be a very long post). 

1. Penny Lou Pingleton from Hairspray
Speaking of Hairpspray, have you watched the NBC Live Musical just a couple of days ago? It's a good one, aye? I've watched the original movie, broadway musical, movie musical (with our childhood crush, Zac Efron) and the live television version, somehow I'm interested in playing Penny Lou, the best friend of Tracy Turnblad. A girl who is trapped by her mother to be just a good girl who weren't let to join the talent show. "I'm now a checkboard chick!"

2. Tuptim from The King and I
A tragic slave who was brought from Burma to be one of the King's junior wives. However, there was a Burmese scholar named Lun Tha who is deeply in love with her. What I like about this character is that she doesn't give up that easily on the person she loves. Even if she was forced to live in the castle and married to the King, she still fights for her love of Lun Tha, and likewise. Plus, who doesn't want to sing "I Have Dreamed" number in the moonlight? "I have dreamed every word you whisper."

3. Eponine Thénardier from Les Miserablés
The more tragic character from a famous musical, Èponine is a ragged child in the street of Paris. She fell in love with her childhood friend, Marius who's in love with someone else. She is also someone who would fight for the person she loves even though he doesn't feel the same, until the very end of her life. "You're here, that's all I need to know."

4. Belle from Beauty and the Beast
A role that I relate most from our hobbies of reading books and wanting to live more adventurous (and somehow our name is similar). This is also the very first broadway musical that I watched live and the person in the photo is the one who played Belle there, Hilary Maiberger. "I want much more than this provincial life."

5. Betty Rizzo from Grease
Rizzo is a character that I'm interested due to challenge myself and the peculiar character it is. She is tough and sarcastic leader of the most popular girl gang in school, Pink Ladies. She smokes, drinks, and does not care what others think of her. "I could flirt with all the guys smile at them and bat my eyes."

6. Yitzhak from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The legendary role of playing reverse the gender, Yitzhak is an illegal immigrant from Croatia. He used to be a drag queen until he fell in love with Hedwig. Due to his popularity that clouded Hedwig's, he was forbidden to be a drag and recruited to be a backing singer of Hedwig instead. The role is played by women for musicality purposes (and perhaps the irony). "The love that had me in your grip was just a long, long grift."

Honorable dream role mentions: Mimi from Rent, Julie Jordan from Carousel, Princess Jasmine from Aladdin, Liesel von Trapp from The Sound of Music, Elphaba from Wicked (duh).

Breaking News

12/08/2016 01:15:00 AM
The blast of her existence will be on every headline
I've encountered on the road home or when I was
out with friends and family.

The thing that could hold my breath for a while and
sigh in relief, to know someone who could do
better than myself.

Stay, that's all I can say to her. In the sky full
of pollution and corruption, she won't see moon and
stars. But she will see them deep in your eyes.

In the noisy street full of traffic jams and garbage,
she won't hear soothes and good news. But she will
hear them if she listens close enough to your heartbeat.

She is a bandage of something that was broken
to pieces inside. And I am the one who dropped it
from the top of Mauna Kea.

Then Elda exclaimed...

"...You've found a new home,
And I should be happy."