Thought

100%

1/16/2016 12:48:00 AM
What comes to mind when you see that 100%?

It can be perfect,
succeed,
whole, or
completion.

Complete is what comes to my mind. A word that notices the existence of wholeness. Like when you're downloading your torrent or a file and then the green bar just showed 100% that means your download is finished. Or when you put the last missing puzzle pieces then the puzzle is a whole. It;s clear that wholeness is the key to feeling complete.

Nice feeling, isn't it?

That concludes feeling complete is something that we all cherish. Imagine if we feel complete of ourselves, the feeling that nothing is missing from your life, and that we have everything we need within us. It's a real happiness. Because the image of consumers being happy with the new phone or millionaires made happy when they become billionaires, the hunger for happiness still lingers.

However, the way we interpret that missing pieces is different every one of us. For me, I noticed it when I watch a rock musical Hedwig and the Angry Inch by John Cameron Mitchell two years ago and have been hyped of it ever since. It was an off-Broadway musical before turned into movie in 2001 and then a Broadway revival in 2014 played by the legend-wait-for-it-dary, Neil Patrick Harris.

The Origin of Love symbol in Hedwig and the Angry Inch based on Plato's Symposium.
This is the answer to every interview that I did when they asked about my favorite film or musical, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It's a complex and long story that someday I'll write another post just reviewing this musical, but long story short it's a story about a drag rock and roll queen who got botched in a sexual operation. But wait, the story is much more than a drag queen journey. It's a universal story about love and acceptance.

We all struggle towards feeling whole. And to find the other half, the missing pieces, we may think of finding someone that can complete us with love, a partner. That’s why sometimes we all are so desperate to find that significant other, to find that which is missing from our lives in another, or in a mirror reflected back at us. I'm not going to say that thought is a nonsense. But if we hang onto things or someone to feel complete, we’re actually saddling ourselves with more stories of incompleteness. Like when we don't have that thing, we don't know what we'll do.

The bitter truth is that we feel complete when we accept ourselves as a whole, as we truly are. Not once again holding back who we are. Then love ourselves every pieces of it. Don't depend it on a thing or someone else. We can change for the better self, but don't ever change for anyone especially just to impress them.

That's what I've been telling myself ever since I watched the musical. So, I thank John Cameron Mitchell for bazillion of times, writing an inspiring rock musical that shook the matter which everyone can relate to. This is the finale number that tied up the entire story sung by John Cameron Mitchell himself on the movie. A song which declares that Hedwig is now whole, healed, artistically and spiritually.


"Breathe, feel, love, give, free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole.

And you're shining, like the brightest star 
A transmission on the midnight radio 
And you're spinnin' like a forty-five 
Ballerina dancing to your rock and roll "
Poetry

Quick Poem of the Day

1/05/2016 01:29:00 AM

1. Such Question Mark Did Happen

The smell of its
fabric
and odor
she relishes it

The sound of its
string
and noise
she enjoys it

The mind of its
word
and thought
she adores it

The sight of its
moment
or stare
she cherishes it

But you must be curious 
of what is it so precious

But what you want to know
is what she doesn't know

But what you want to know
is in the book she possess now

But when she opens the book
she is too scared to look

All that left
is a burden of heft
that questioning her til she's crooked
would she care to look
to relish
to enjoy
to adore
to cherish
that contents of the book

although she does know
or pretends not to know
all this hours
that it doesn't care the way she does

although you must be confused
if such thing can happen
indeed

such thing did happen


2. A Merry Farewell

I don't care if you
vanish
perish
evaporate
dissipate
vaporized
dematerialized
from my life, bad thoughts.

Please do.

(Jakarta, January 5th 2016)