The Butterfly Project

8/26/2012 07:43:00 PM

Have you ever felt like to cut yourself?
When I first heard about this, I was like 'yeah they're just a bunch of idiots who can't handle themselves'. But as I grew up, I finally understand. When I got some hard problems in my life, I felt it. I feel like I want to cut myself so bad. All my friends has forbade me through bbm (teen nowadays), but it doesn't help. I still wanted to cut it. Then one of my friend told me about The Butterfly Project. And it's pretty helpful. What you have to do is just follow these simple rules:

1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand.

2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.

3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. No scrubbing it off.

4. If you cut before the butterfly is gone, you’ve killed it. If you dont cut, it lives.

5. If you have more than one butterfly, cutting kills all of them.

6. Another person may draw them on you. These butterflies are extra special. Take good care of them.

7. Even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support. If you do this, name it after someone you know that cuts or is suffering right now, and tell them. It could help.

So that's the simple rules. I've made it once and named it Amy. Nice name, isn't it? She's my friend from Scotland who always supports my writing. Also it's one of my favorite character from Doctor Who, Amy Pond.
The Butterfly Project. Keep it alive.

First Time

8/24/2012 08:14:00 PM


The first time I met you, I didn't know it would be like this.
The first time we spoke, how confused I was.
How it took me to the wanderings of the unknown.
The first time I looked at you, I craved for more.
Though the heart skips a beat, and the world froze.

For every time you look me in the eyes, how I wished you never knew.
How I wished you never realized.
For the pain you caused me, the impact you put on me.
You saw me like a small rock by the street,
you felt my presence like the wind that casually blew your hair.
Though how rare you need it. Useless.

The first time I met you, I didn't know that problem would come.
How it destroyed the stacked of cards pyramid,
how it blows away the patience,
how it wasted its beauty of what I've written, and merely left an ink on me.

And though it may be my fault,
and may be it is,
to what is my fault,
is a foolish one to all.

Yet the reaction you brought,
puts the weight on me.
And now nothing is the same.
For even you are the brightest of all,
nothing will be the same.


The Biggest Fangirl

8/18/2012 11:54:00 PM

Trivia: It's actually a StarKid's song from "A Very Potter Sequel" musical named "The Coolest Girl" but an supermegafoxyawesomehot youtuber, Tessa Netting changed the lyrics into a total goddess fangirl anthem.

Live your dream

8/16/2012 11:03:00 PM
“Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be.” - Karen Ravn

Many people said to me, in this age I should have known what I wanna be in the future. Like what my dream or passion is. Because when we have it, we can more be directed in our life. I agreed with that. I believe people who have known their dreams has understood their purpose in life. Many people asked me "what is your dream?" "what do you want to be?" I always answered it. But the fact is, I haven't cognized. As all of you have known, sometimes dream can change. And my dream is strangely always changed. When in fact, life is simple.

Maybe from now on, I have to make a decision. And I must have courage to say and believe in it. Because if I'm not saying nor believing it, the dreams will never come.

"You've got everything it takes to do everything you want in life. Don't let fear make your decisions." -Joel Madden

- B -

Is it a sin?

8/09/2012 09:31:00 AM
Sometimes I wish I can read human's mind. So I can truly understand what they're meaning through their vague utterances or something they never said. And to find out if what I did was right, or utterly wrong.

I'm not trying to be an angel nor a cupid. My true purpose is just to make you happy although I didn't know whether I'm right about what is your happiness or not. I've just realized I haven't known you for so long. But I acted like I already know you for a long time ago, and planned something that I thought would make you happy. Despite the fact it requires to sacrifice my own feelings. Yes, I don't care

Can you tell me am I right or wrong if I do it? I haven't done it because I'm dazed. You've told me what she meant to you, why haven't you tell me if I was right? Or maybe you left it like that because you haven't known my actual purpose. I only want you to be happy. Even if it wasn't with me.

You gave the taste of lemonade to my life. My heart thudded harder everytime I see your name popped. Although it's just you who was talking about that girl, my best friend from the first time we talked. So I can conclude, you two are the most significant people in my life right now. I couldn't even want anything more. You deserve to be happy. In spite of I'm not ready to face the consequences.

But some of my true-self saying the opposite.Why I'd do that? Why can't I use this as an opportunity to prevent them ever happen? I'm not selfish.  But why can't I be happy too with the one I cared? Is it a sin?

I may be on the side of angels. But don't think for one second, that I am one of them.